I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
