where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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