dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
