Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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