Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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