The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
