i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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