I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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