Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
