I'm sorry my penis didn't work
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
