I looked at my own cervix.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
