Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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