babies were throwing up all over the place
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
