I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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