That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
