just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
