That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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