You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
