i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just want nice things and good sex
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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