I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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