I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
