I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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