Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
