yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize