your parents love me but you hate me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
