it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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