Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
