whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
