That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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