no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
