Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
