remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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