so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
