In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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