I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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