am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
