Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize