How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
