Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
