i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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