so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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