would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
