you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
