If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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