so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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