you didnt know i had herpes?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize