she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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