I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
