..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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