you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
