I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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