I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
