i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
