I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
