i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
