Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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