the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
