just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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