she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
