I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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