hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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