he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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