So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
