why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
