dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Randomize
